We help participants uncover the root causes of their patterns of thought and behavior. We then teach skills and concepts that a person would have learned in a balanced, healthy home between birth and 18. These skills help participants learn to rebuild their lives and improve their self image. Life Skills classes will give you the information and tools you need to reach your fullest potential in any area of your life, including finding self-worth and building better personal relationships. We will help you break the cycle of family hurt and dysfunction that has passed from generation to generation. Our goal is to help each individual to increase their capacity to grow, mature, develop true character, and both choose and thrive within healthy relationships. Where possible, we offer hope of reconciliation.

Phase 1 is semester-length course (approximately 17 - 18 weeks). Each class meets once a week for about 3 hours. Each location has their own individual day and time. You may have up to 3 absences. However, you must do a makeup session (1-on-1) for each absence, before the next session. Makeups are double your regular class fee.

If the class is not full, you can join up until the 3rd session.

The class is not all about anger or abuse.  It is about the beliefs and expectations we learned as a child that we carry into adulthood.  Since none of us had perfect parents, we have all learned something faulty or unhealthy.

And when it comes to domestic abuse, did you know that it involves not only physical abuse, but sexual, emotional, verbal, religious, rejection, psychological, economic, and even silence? There are more than 20 forms of abuse.  Some forms of abuse are so subtle that people accept them as OK and normal.  Many are committed by well-meaning and loving family members. All forms of this issue are devastating and wound the individual and their relationships.

Can you say “Yes” to one or more of the following statements?

• There is blaming, cursing, hostile humor or name calling in the heat of an argument.

• I see a dual personality in my friend/partner/myself: nice and cruel.

• I make excuses for my friend/partner or my own negative behavior.

• There was abuse and/or rejection in my family while growing up.

• If the other person would just change, I would be better.

• I can’t express my own opinion. It is not safe. I  have trouble communicating.

• I have unrealistic expectations for myself and others. I tend to be perfectionistic.

• My life choices just don’t seem to be working out for me.

• Either I or my partner needs to be in control of everything all the time.

• I feel angry, on edge, anxious, depressed, trapped, fearful and/or suicidal.

• I find myself yelling at others, especially those I love.

• I have been a victim of verbal, sexual, and/or physical abuse.

• I struggle with feeling rejected and lonely.

• I continue to pick the same kind of partner and it fails every time.

• I feel unworthy of love.

• I resent or reject authority.

• I find wear myself down taking care of others.

• I wear others down making them take care of me.

• My partner/friend seems to tune me out and never really communicates with me.

• I am easily irritated, annoyed, or angered.

• I have gone to a lot of counseling in the past and still struggle with understanding the root issues of my behavior.

 If you answered “Yes” to one or more of the above statements, then LIFE SKILLS (“Learning to Live, Learning to Love”) IS FOR YOU!

The course is taught in a small group setting (typically no more than 12 participants). Men and women meet in separate groups. We use printed materials, videos, hands on activities, discussion, writing, and even games to help participants learn and review the content.

In these closed, gender separate classes, each person has the ability to express himself or herself in a safe, supportive environment where they learn to apply the skills that are taught in the “Learning to Live…Learning to Love” curriculum.

The group dynamic allows each person to safely share personal experiences with others who may have similar backgrounds or patterns.  For many, these classes are the first time they have been able to receive encouragement, instead of condemnation for certain areas of their lives.

The sign-up/intake fee for the class is $50. This covers the intake session, the intake packet, and your class materials.

You will be charged a weekly amount for the program for the 17-18 weeks.The course fee is based on a sliding scale according to your annual household income. Your weekly fee is approx. 1% of your yearly income. Sliding scale fee minimum is $35 a week and maximum is $100 a week.

If you have an extenuating circumstance that makes the sliding scale unfeasible for you, please let us know. We have partial scholarships available.

Additional note: If you miss a class (3 max to stay enrolled in the program) you will need to take a make-up session, which will be charged double your regular class fee.

An intake (or sign-up) session is approximately 45 minutes - 1 hour long and is required for enrollment. During the Intake Session, you will get more information about the class goals and what you can expect from your facilitator and class. In addition, we will get valuable information about your background and current thinking.

We will also determine your class fee, which is based on a sliding scale and your current circumstances. Proof of income is required for your sliding scale determination (recent physical or electronic check stub is fine).

There is a flat fee of $50 for the intake, for processing and your class materials. However, the intake session does not obligate you to anything. It just clears you to join the next class of your choice.

The purpose is to meet with a Life Skills facilitator help you feel comfortable with the choice you are making. Please note: You can not complete your intake appointment over the phone or video chat. We must meet one another in person.

Call 240-502-2052 or click here to schedule an intake session.

The “Learning to Live, Learning to Love” curriculum is not psycho-therapy or group counseling. It is also not a “tips and tricks” course.

We help you restart the emotional maturing process in the brain, by learning information and using "tools" which rewire the brain. 

The "secret" of the curriculum is in the process. Other programs often distribute information and give behavior techniques. Life Skills uniquely provides "tools" to be learned during the semester-long course and used during two and half years after‍ the course to continue growing and strengthening your new neural pathways. Consistent application of the tools has been found to lead to permanent healing and emotional maturity.

First developed in 1985, the “Learning to Live, Learning to Love” program is designed to help students build healthy relationships by bringing closure and healing from past events; while teaching important life skills many have missed in childhood. We believe that behaviors don’t “just happen”. Although in its earliest form, the curriculum was developed to support and aid people involved in abusive relationships, the program has evolved into a process that, while still helping those that are desperately wounded, will also enrich any person’s life.” (from lifeskillsclasses.com)

“Learning to Live, Learning to Love” is a curriculum developed by Dr. Paul Hegstrom to help individuals recognize the extent of their dysfunctional issues.  If they are/become teachable and apply what they learn, they will see great results by the end of the class.  If anger is not an issue for us, we can still recognize that the source of our deepest pain and expectations is usually found in childhood.  Becoming aware of where we are “stuck” emotionally frees us to “grow up” as we change our thinking.  This is called “renewing of the mind”. 

Finally, as we describe what healthy looks like, it gives individuals new hope and goals as they learn to make good choices and to use the tools received throughout the program.

The person attending class benefits the most because we focus on the individual’s issues.  We know that we can’t change anyone but ourselves.  However, when we become more aware of our part of the problems we are having, we can learn how to listen better and change our own behavior and responses.  In turn, others feel more respected and open to our communication and they benefit too.

Many people have benefited from Life Skills because they simply want to fine tune their relationship(s).  Because Life Skills deals with the “big picture”, we give tools and teach principles often not taught in the family of origin or in school.  Many people finish the program stating that they wish they had this material at the beginning of their relationship…it would have been so much easier.  Others say that every high school student should have this material before graduating so they can have a better start on life.  There is always room for improvement on oneself and relationships.  Some people who finished raising their children want to learn how to refresh their relationship and re-connect with the love of their life.  Life Skills tends to be for nearly anyone who wants to grow.

This may not be your issue, but what if it is…..

Physical Abuse: Any touch not given in love, respect, and dignity.

Emotional Abuse: Any communication, admonition, reprimand, or reproof that does not uplift, edify, or bring conflict resolution. It can include overt tactics like yelling, name-calling, threats, or damaging property. It can include covert tactics like manipulation, gaslighting, silent treatment, deflection, and controlling behaviors that undermine the victim's self-esteem and sense of reality.

In general domestic abuse can range from a look to a gunshot.

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, ABUSE IS NEVER OKAY!

Anger is amoral.  It is neither right nor wrong.  The emotion of anger is not the problem, but how we mishandle it. 

Anger is an emotional reaction to certain kinds of stress-producing situations and is always the secondary emotion.  More basic emotions underlie it.  Basic emotion examples are:  hurt, resentment, disappointment, frustration, helplessness, anxiety or fear.

Remember our classes do not provide psychotherapy or counseling and are not meant to be a replacement for it. However, our “Learning to Live, Learning to Love” curriculum has proven to be an excellent compliment to it.

Many of our clients have been in traditional therapy before or during their time in our course.  They have all found our course to be a huge boost to the effectiveness and efficiency of their therapy. 

Be sure to read the responses und “Clients Respond to Common Hesitations” on our What Clients Say page.

The Life Skills program is successful when the tools applied consistently. “If you’re teachable, it’s fixable”.

Life Skills is different because it is more than anger management or coping strategies.  It helps bring understanding and answers a lot of the “why” questions people have about their thoughts and behavior.

Whatever your issues, if you apply yourself and work hard you can see dramatic changes in your life over time. Please visit out testimonial page by clicking here to see written and video testimonies of those who have benefitted from the course.

The course is taught by a same-gender facilitator. Every facilitator has had to complete the course as a participant, apply for the position, and attend a week-long in-person training. The application for the position includes a background check and personal and professional references, as well as a review of the person’s personal emotional, relational, and professional history.

Your facilitator has experienced what you will experience in the class and will be able to relate to much of what you may have experienced in your life.

Dr. Paul Hegstrom began searching for deeper answers as to why he had such built-up issues.  He spent well over 20,000 hours in research and 36,000 hours facilitating groups while continuing to develop a curriculum that would offer hope and help to individuals, including  families involved in domestic violence.  The program also helps others to understand some of the “why” questions for their reactive behaviors.  Out of Paul’s life and testimony, Life Skills International was founded in 1985.

Dr. Paul Hegstrom is the founder of Life Skills International.  The organization grew out of Paul’s personal battle with dysfunctional behavior.  He spent the first forty years of his life not understanding the driving force that caused him to self-destruct again and again.  He could not communicate or identify his feelings.  He knew something was wrong, but lived his life in denial.  Over $20,000 was spent on counseling where he was given “labels”, but never got to the root of his problems, and this only added to his anger and frustration.

Paul not only found peace with God and himself, but the wife he had divorced after nearly 17 years of marriage, became his bride again and they have now been successfully married the second time longer than the first and they are still growing together. There are countless other testimonies just like this throughout country from past and current students and their families.

The curriculum covers a wide variety of topics that benefit all students by helping them understand and change the way they think.

Topics include…

• Anger Management,

• Communication, 

• Conflict Resolution, 

• Defining and Eliminating any Abuse, 

• Childhood Wounds, 

• Forgiveness, 

• Developing Trust, 

• Guilt and Shame, 

• Reactive Lifestyles, 

• Self-worth, and 

• How to Have Healthy and Lasting Relationships.

In addition, follow-up programs like Phase 2 and The 90-Day Couples Re-bonding program will dig deeper into topics like rejection, co-dependency, parent-child relationships, and setting boundaries.

In order to officially register, call 240-502-2052 or click here to schedule an intake session. Your appointment will take 45-60 minutes.

Appointments will be held at a library or Panera Bread restaurant near your class’ location.

What to bring:

Proof of yearly income, like a tax return, pay stub, letter from employee, or direct deposit slip (printed or accessible from your phone)

$50 sign up fee (cash, card, or contactless payment) or you can pay advance through the appointment scheduler.

Please visit our “What Clients Say” page. There you will find…

• Written and video testimonies

• Clients’ reflections on the class and the facilitators at New Pathways Family Life Skills

• Clients’ responses to common hesitations